


and now i know why the all the trees change in the fall

by MaddieandChimney



Series: Rose Universe [7]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27916105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: Maddie, Chimney and Rose are settling into life as a family of three.
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: Rose Universe [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951450
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

Chimney was in therapy which was great in the kind of way that meant she was relieved he was getting help. Not so great in the kind of way that he seemed more exhausted than usual recently. It had only been two weeks but he was a little more reserved, spending the nights he wasn’t on shift staring down at the notebook he’d been given by his therapist and occasionally jotting things down before slamming the pages shut if she or Rose approached him.

It was a strange sort of quiet though, not the awkwardness that had been between them before. He’s getting help and what more could she ask for? Their eyes meet across the dining room table as Maddie glances up from her laptop and he finally settles his pen down, a fierce look in his eyes she doesn’t quite recognise when he stops in his fast, aggressive scribbling on the paper in front of him. Maddie seizes the opportunity to break the silence they’d both been sitting in for the past hour since they’d put Rose to bed, “I was just looking at things for Rose’s birthday party…”

At least that seems to have piqued his interest, an eyebrow raising as he smiles, “Did she tell you she wants a mermaid party? This is the first year we’re off shift—” Maddie knows the tradition she’d been told of the year before; Rose’s birthday was celebrated with her friends and wider family the day before and then the day after was spent with Chimney, the Lees and her Aunt on her mother’s side. She’d been honoured to get the invite to their special day last year, and even more honoured this year when Bobby and Athena had approached her and asked her if she wanted to use their house for Rose’s birthday party this year considering the team weren’t on shift to use the station.

“She did, she told me you’re going to dress up as Eric from the Little Mermaid and I’m going to be Ariel and she’s going to be Princess Melody.” Chimney scoffs, pushing the notebook in front of him away as he stands up, grinning as he walks over to her, “Don’t worry,” Maddie continues, “I reminded her that mommy’s and daddy’s organise the parties, so she and her friends can be the real mermaids.” Her cheeks flush and her smile grows when he leans down to press his lips to her cheek, until he’s standing behind her to gently massage both of her shoulders as he peers at the laptop in front of her. “So, Bobby is sorting the food, of course and he said he’ll stick to the theme but he’s really excited to have a separate kids and adult food table, I figured it best to just leave that to him.”

“Good idea, he was so disappointed when she asked for hot dogs last year.”

Maddie giggles at the memory and nods her head; it had been the first time she’d ever met the Captain, although they’d become firm friends since considering how much time the 118 and extended family spent together outside of work. “I’ve got the cake sorted and the decorations, we even have a photobooth and I thought these invites for her school friends would be cute.” She tilts her head up to look at him, scrunching her nose up when he looks down at her instead of at the laptop screen she’s pointing at, with the goofiest grin on his face as he does.

“You, Athena and Bobby could go into business as party planners if you ever don’t want to be a nurse anymore.” There’s a familiar teasing glint in his eyes and she finds herself turning in her seat so she can look at him without straining her neck, resting her hand on his chest as she does.

“I’m not stepping on your toes, am I? Do you want to come with Athena and I to choose the decorations? Or I’m taking Rose to pick her costume next weekend, you can come then? Or—” She’s stopped by the feeling of his lips against hers, alongside his hands on either side of her face in a firm yet gentle grip. The kiss only lasts a short moment but she still feels as though she can’t breathe when he pulls back and looks at her with a smile that reaches his eyes for what seems like the first time in a while.

“As long as Rose is happy and there’s cake, and it’s _chocolate_ cake, that’s all that matters to me.” Their noses nudge together before his hands drop from her face, leaning over her to shut her laptop with a look on his face she definitely hasn’t seen in a long time, his hand reaching out for hers, a smirk on his lips before he waggles his eyebrows at her, “Early night?”

It’s easy to place her hand in his, giggling when he pulls her to a standing position with relative ease, their bodies flush together, “You just don’t want to talk about party planning.” She teases, laughing harder when he fakes offence, “But if you insist… I guess I could pause the planning for now.”

“Oh, I insist.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of Rose's birthday party and Maddie is struggling more than she thought she would be.

It’s pathetic, she feels pathetic, although she knows on some level that it’s not _just_ about the fact every woman she knows is pregnant (two women, _two_ are pregnant but that’s one more pregnant woman than she knew yesterday so it feels like everyone is having a baby except her). It’s just a mixture of the fact it feels as though she’s being tortured by the glow of every pregnant woman she’s ever laid eyes on and Chimney won’t talk to her about how therapy is going and she doesn’t want to push him because she knows it’s an incredibly private thing and somehow the question of ‘hey, do you think speaking about your traumatic experience with a trained professional has opened up the possibility of you completely changing your life with me?’ didn’t really seem appropriate.

She’s also certain that about half the reason she’s crying in the bathroom of Bobby and Athena’s house is because she’s on her period and somehow everything just seems to be ten times worse than it should be. It probably doesn’t help that they lost a new mother in the ER the day before and her nightmares had been filled with a memory that wasn’t even hers, imagining Chimney holding his baby girl for the first time in the hospital, knowing what he knew. Her emotions are all over the place in both a good and a bad way because despite the haunting images that her imagination somehow managed to conjure up, it was still a good day. An amazing day because her boyfriend was happy and more importantly, Rose had told them it was the best birthday party of her whole life (she was four tomorrow, Maddie expects they’ll hear that more than once over the next few years) and she had spent the entire day smiling and laughing in a way that made her heart feel full.

Frankly, she’s a mess. She doesn’t know if she’s sad or happy or frustrated or just so incredibly confused or a mixture of everything. She misses when things were simply and she was just a woman falling in love and finally feeling as though she had a family of her own in Rose and Chimney. She misses smiling down at her phone every single time Chimney text her or meeting for breakfast in the diner by the hospital and feeling carefree and happy and so completely and utterly infatuated with someone in a way she never thought she could again. She misses when she hadn’t wanted children because that never seemed like a possibility for her and she wishes more than anything that she had never said those words aloud to Chimney. It just seems as though she had ruined everything that day.

A knock on the door pulls her from her thoughts, forcing her to wipe at her eyes as she rolls her eyes at her reflection. Maybe she could hide out in a bedroom somewhere whilst the redness died down but she knows it’s almost time for the birthday cake and Chimney is going to see her and feel guilty and she _really_ can’t believe she’s adding to his therapy sessions. Maybe she should start paying for these sessions considering he seemed pretty content before she had brought everything back to the forefront of his mind.

“Sorry, I’m sorry—” Years of experience taught her how to fake a smile even when she wasn’t really feeling it, although it’s quick to drop when she opens the door and her eyes settle on Athena’s face. The look on the other woman’s face tells her that she’s been standing on the other side of the door long enough to know exactly what she was doing locked in the bathroom during her daughter’s birthday party.

“You can’t go back to the party like that.” Blunt and to the point as always and Maddie appreciates it when Athena joins her in the bathroom instead and shuts the door behind her. “Chimney was looking for you… are you okay, Maddie?”

It takes her a moment to nod her head, truly thinking about the question for a second before she gulps, “I _am_ okay, I just—I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, I guess? It’s a lot and I’m more sensitive than usual and Chimney is already going through so much, he doesn’t need me crying into a pint of ice cream over something ridiculous to add to it all.” Her nose scrunches up as she looks at her blotchy, red face in the mirror, glad she had forgone the mascara that morning considering she had burst into tears when Rose had twirled around in her party dress and she had just looked so grown up. “One of the mom’s asked us if we were going to have another baby because she’s pregnant and Jess, her daughter, was so excited and—I just didn’t know what to say. Because I don’t know, we’re in this weird between stage where Chimney hasn’t said yes and he hasn’t said no. He hasn’t said anything, to be honest and I don’t want to push him for an answer because he hasn’t been in therapy that long and I’m sure when he knows he’ll tell me, right? I just feel like I have absolutely no control over where my life is going to go and I just need to know so if he _doesn’t_ want kids, then I can grieve and move on. Does that make sense?”

The words are rushed out and she’s surprised she manages to get through them without breaking down and she doesn’t even know if she should be talking to the woman about any of this because whilst they’re friends, they aren’t that close. But if she talks to Buck, he immediately takes out any frustration on her boyfriend because no matter what she says or even if she’s in the wrong, he’s her little brother and he always takes her side. She can’t talk to Josh because he’s going through a break-up at the moment and their entire friendship at the moment is eating ice cream, crying over Greys Anatomy and then moaning about the calories and time wasted at the gym as Josh wonders why he can’t find love and she wonders if her boyfriend is okay or if he’s going to be okay. She most definitely can’t confess everything to Karen again because the woman is glowing and she looks phenomenally gorgeous with her growing baby bump, so she definitely doesn’t need to hear about her problems.

The one person she does want to talk to about it all, she simply doesn’t know how to.

“It makes sense.” Athena leans up against the closed door as she looks at her, a smile on her face, “I always thought being a good police officer was everything I ever wanted and then I had May and Harry and being a mom suddenly became the most important thing in my life but it’s not the only important thing in my life and you are a mom, Maddie, to that little girl in there who absolutely worships the ground you walk on. And I see the way you look at her, it’s no different from the way I look at my kids or the way Hen and Karen look at Denny or Eddie at Christopher. Does Chimney make you happy?”

Even the question makes her smile as she nods her head, “He really does, I didn’t think it was possible to love again after everything with my ex-husband but… this probably sounds crazy, but I’ve been falling in love with him since the day I met him.”

“Then what are you doing crying in a bathroom on your own?” Athena asks, her brow raised and the traces of a sympathetic smile on her face as Maddie dabs a wet washcloth against her face as though it will make any difference.

“He makes me happy but I don’t know if I make him happy anymore.” It’s the most honest she’s been out loud, not even sure she’s been able to admit that to herself as she looks at the woman she met an entire year to the day on Rose’s third birthday. She remembers how happy she had been by Chimney’s side and how he had smiled at her and told everyone that she and Rose were his girls.

Another knock on the door stops Athena from answering her, followed by the sound of her boyfriend’s voice, “Uh, Maddie? You’ve been gone a while…”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” The Sergeant says, as though it’s really that easy and it probably is, she’s probably overthinking everything and letting her own thoughts and emotions get in the way of something she’s sure she already knows the answer to. She had seen how terrified he was at the prospect of her leaving, how much it had hurt him to tell her that if it would make her happier, she should leave him. Before she can say anything, Athena is opening the door and her cheeks flush red the second Chimney’s eyes are on her, “I’ll go delay the birthday cake.”

And then she’s gone, and it’s just the two of them and it’s his turn to step into the bathroom and close the door behind him this time and she can already see the fear in his eyes and she knows exactly where his mind has gone. Maddie doesn’t say anything though, even if she knows she should to at least tell him his mind is playing tricks on him and this isn’t what he thinks it is. Instead, she closes the gap between them to wrap her arms tightly around him, breathing him in as she hides her face in his neck. 

They can talk, they need to talk but his arms wrapping around her and pulling her even closer is all she needs right then.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an argument, Maddie doesn't know if Chimney is going to come home.

They’ve argued before but it’s never been like this, she’s never _felt_ like this towards him. Maddie usually shies away from arguments, partly the trauma from memories she’d rather forget but mostly because she’s never felt truly enraged because of something her boyfriend has said or done before. She’s just glad that he was on a late morning shift which means that she’d dropped Rose off to school whilst he had been sleeping, only to find him packed and ready for work upon her return hours before he had to leave.

“I can’t keep doing this with you!”

If he’s at all phased by her words, he doesn’t outwardly show it and the fact he just shrugs his shoulders and throws his bag over his shoulder only serves to anger her even more. “Don’t just walk away from me, you can’t just say shit like that and then leave.” Maddie isn’t an angry person, she doesn’t think it serves any wider purpose, not really but it’s all she feels right then as she rushes forward and slams her back against the front door so he can’t escape. Her glare settles on him but he’s refusing to meet her eyes and she’s not sure if she wants to burst into tears or scream at him.

“Look at me!” It’s louder than she intends, her hand slamming back against the door in an attempt to force him to look at her, and the noise does and she can already feel her palm burning at the sheer intensity of the movement, refusing to tear her eyes from his face to look. God, she wishes she had never said anything all those months ago. She wishes she had just kept it inside and never mentioned it, just… carried on living their happy lives as they had been. She could have ignored it, she had spent years pushing things away and holding things back. Maybe they would have been happier if she had just kept her mouth shut.

Maddie hates how her emotions betray her, the tears forming before she can stop them as she bites down harshly on her lip in an attempt to stop the trembling. She’s angry, she wishes her body would let her have this one at least as she swipes at the tears that fall down her cheeks, shaking it off. “I can’t keep having the same conversation with you, I don’t know how to convince you that I’m not going to leave, I don’t want to leave!” There’s a pause as he looks at her and in her head it’s starting to make sense and suddenly the raised voice is again as she goes over his words in her head. He was waiting for her to leave because he didn’t think he made her happy anymore.

“But you want me to leave.” It’s as though the realisation has suddenly hit her and she doesn’t see the widening of Chimney’s eyes or the panic on his face as she whispers the words mostly to herself. “Y-you want me to leave, don’t you? You can’t—do it yourself so you’re just waiting for me to walk out of the door?”

“Maddie, that’s not—”

“No. I’ve already told you over and over again that I don’t want to break up over this, I told you that—I just want an answer so I can deal with it but you—you don’t have an answer for me because you still don’t know. You don’t know if you…” She pulls her body away from the door, no longer blocking his exit as she shakes her head and looks at him. “I’m not leaving you. I’ve said it too many times, I’m not going anywhere. If you want to end this, then you’re going to have to be the one to walk away.”

He looks at the door for a second and it feels as though he’s ripped her heart from her chest when he does because all she can think of is the fact he thinks of walking out of there, if only for a moment. “Are you seriously happy right now, Maddie?” He sounds defeated and maybe if she wasn’t so angry and devastated at the scenario she’s formed in her own head, she’d hear the panicked breathing behind his words or see the way his hand is shaking as he grips a little tighter onto the strap of his bag. “What I meant was… you deserve better.” She doesn’t look at him as he talks, just shaking her head as she wraps her arms around herself. Maddie wants to tell him that she doesn’t need or want anyone better than him, that she wants a life with him with or without any other children but all she wants is an answer because living on a ‘maybe’ is killing her. “I have to go to work.”

“You don’t start—” Her words are cut off by the sound of the door slamming before she can even turn to look at him, met with the shut door instead as she takes a deep, shaking breath in a failed attempt to stop herself from bursting into tears. He didn’t start work for another two hours but there she was, alone in the apartment that was meant to be theirs but she had never felt more alone in it than she did right then.

The day twists into one where she wishes she had work to distract her but all she has to focus on is the fact she has to pick Rose up from school. She doesn’t hear from Chimney all day but it’s not as though she makes any effort to contact him either and the impending argument she feels bubbling up inside of her is the main reason she finds herself dropping Rose off at her grandparents for the night, lying to Mrs Lee when she asks her if everything is okay. She tells her she just doesn’t feel good (which is kind of true, but not in the way it comes out) and finds herself walking back into the apartment an hour later with a tub of soup and a recipe for something the elder woman had insisted would have her feeling right as rain in no time at all. “Chimney?”

The apartment looks the same as it had when she had left it and she can already feel herself start to panic as she looks for the tell-tale signs he’d been home whilst she was gone because he should have been home at least half-an-hour before. There hadn’t been any LA disasters that she’d heard of or she would have been called into work and he always text if he knew he was going to be late, especially considering he didn’t know she’d taken Rose to the Lees for the evening. There’s no logical reason for him not to be home from work other than he has no intention of coming home. Not tonight, at least.

It’s with shaking hands that she finds herself texting him, waiting five minutes to see if he’s read it before she gives up when she sees neither tick light up, flicking up Hen’s contact information instead. There’s no sign of resentment in the words typed back, just that he’d left work the same time as her and everything had seemed fine. Which meant he hadn’t spoken to his best friend about their argument that morning which probably wasn’t a good sign. Why wouldn’t he tell her? The first thing she’d done was phone Josh when she felt calm enough and then went to the gym with him to “work out” their problems (they’d ended up in the sauna but all good intentions).

She flicks back to her text to him, seeing it’s still not read before she types another message asking him where he is. Then another soon after calling him immature, each one going unread, until she slams her phone down on the counter in anger. He’s not coming home and she has no idea where he is.

. 

Maddie is about to call Bobby when she hears the key turning into the lock and the tears that had been falling down her cheeks are quickly forgotten the second Chimney steps into the apartment. “Where the fuck have you been?” The words bounce off the walls of the apartment as she slides herself from the bar stool, watching as he looks around for his daughter with a frown on his face, clearly at the thought of her not only shouting in front of their daughter but cursing too. “She’s at her grandparents.”

Chimney’s shoulders slump in relief as he nods his head, practically throwing his bag onto the floor. Maddie just isn’t sure if she wants to hug him in relief that he’s actually home or slap him for terrifying her in the first place. As much as he’s been waiting for her to walk out of there and never come back, she realises that she’s been waiting for the same thing. She knows that she’s stubborn and she knows that she loves him more than she’s ever been in love with another person before but she also knows that he’s a good, kind person who would probably end up pushing her away and winning that battle if he truly thinks she’d be happier elsewhere.

“You can’t just walk out of here and then—you finished work three hours ago, no one has heard from you and—I deserve better than you just ignoring my texts.” The anger only intensifies when she watches him dig his phone from his bag and look down at it as though he’s only just seeing it for the first time, his finger flicking down over the notifications.

“I-I wasn’t ignoring you—I had my phone on silent, I didn’t think… I really didn’t think you’d try and contact me after this morning. I didn’t hear from you all day.”

“I didn’t hear from you either.” She’s quick to snap back, “I thought we needed some time to calm down and then you… where the hell have you been?” She doesn’t give him the chance to answer as she throws her hands in the air, exasperated by the whole thing because they just keep going around in circles, having the same conversation over and over again and she’s not sure she can do it anymore. “I haven’t heard from you, I was worried—I was about to call Bobby to talk to Athena because I was about five minutes away from phoning the hospitals! I thought to myself, no… Chimney wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t just ignore me, he wouldn’t just disappear but then after you left here without so much as a goodbye this morning… you keep saying you love me but you’re sure as hell doing a pretty good job at pushing me away, Howard.”

She sees the way he flinches at the use of his full name but it doesn’t stop her as she moves forward, “I’m here. I stayed and you’re the one who walked out of here. I’ve been sitting here for hours waiting to hear from you and you just walk through the door like it’s any other day. How dare you? You’re not even going to come up with an excuse? You’re not—”

“I was in therapy, Maddie.”

His words cause her to pause for just a second when he interrupts her, his voice remarkably calm as he does before she shakes her head. “No, no… you have therapy on Monday and Wednesday and today is Friday so don’t lie to me.”

“I wouldn’t lie to you about that, I booked a session this morning when I left here. I needed to talk to someone, I-I needed—”

Part of her knows she should let him finish his sentence before she interrupts him but the anger is growing with every word that falls from his lips and it’s barely rational but it’s as though every bit of tension over the last few months has accumulated in this one single moment and everything is pouring out before she can stop it. “I needed you to talk to me! I needed you _here_. But you can talk to him but not me, right? Because I don’t deserve an explanation from you? I’m not sitting here every single day waiting for you to give me an answer so we can move on—” There’s an undeniable pain that crosses his features before he stumbles back and she knows exactly how he’s interpreted her words in a way that causes her to groan, lifting her hands to her head to run her fingers through her hair in frustration. “together. So we can move on together but there you are… how the fuck are we meant to have a real relationship if you spend every single day thinking I’m going to leave you even though I’ve told you a hundred times over that I don’t want to? What do you want from me? Just… I can’t do this anymore, I can’t… I’m tired and the anticipation over _your_ decision over _our_ future is killing me. Just tell me what you want from me.”

She doesn’t mean to burst into tears, she has absolutely no intention of manipulating a decision out of him as she looks at him. The anger dissipating and replaced by desperation instead. She’d spent too many years of her life living on edge, never knowing what her husband was going to say or do next and she can’t do it again. She can’t live her life the way they have been lately, with no clue for what their future will hold.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking—I really thought… after this morning that you wouldn’t want to hear from me and I needed to get my head sorted before I came home. I-I needed to talk to someone who could help me with that so I could have the conversation I know you need… Maddie, hey… please.” He’s standing in front of her and she wants to wrap her arms around him, forcing them around herself instead as she looks at him. “The thought of you leaving is the most terrifying thing in the world to me and I know what I want with you, I do but… I needed to make sure it was what I wanted and not just because I don’t want to lose you, do you understand?”

She doesn’t, so she just shrugs her shoulders in response, digging her nails into each of her arms in an attempt to stop herself from reaching forward and wiping at the tears that have fallen down his face. She hates it when he cries, especially when it’s because of her. “I love you and you were wrong this morning, I don’t want you to leave, that’s not what I want. I just… my mind plays tricks on me sometimes, you know? And the easy option would just be to tell you that I want a child in the future with you because I know that will make you happy and I know that it’s what you want. But… I needed to talk to my therapist to make sure that I wasn’t taking the easy option… because I do, I do want that and everything with you, Maddie. I love you…”

Maddie doesn’t want to give herself the opportunity to hope as she looks at him, needing to hear it from him so there’s no room for any miscommunication but she drops her hands from her arms which Chimney takes as in invitation to take both of her hands in his. There’s an overwhelming sadness in his eyes and it’s like nothing she’s ever seen before, no one has ever looked at her like he does. No one has ever been that terrified of losing her.

“I love you so much. I fell a little in love with you the day we met and I love you impossibly more every single day. I want nothing more in this world than to bring Rose up with you, there is no one else I could imagine doing that with… I love you in every way possible… as a girlfriend, hopefully one day as my wife… as a mother…” His hands are shaking and the tears still falling when he closes the gap between them and their bodies are flush together when he looks down, “I do want to have a child with you. I want Rose to have a sibling and I want… I want a chance, I wasn’t given a choice before and the thought still terrifies me but I want a chance to be better, to do better, to know what it’s like to actually choose to be a dad and be involved—have a voice, you know?”

Any anger she’d felt moments before is so quickly forgotten when she’s looking into the terrified face of the man she loves as his entire body trembles. Maddie’s hands move to press gently to either side of his face, thumbs brushing at the tears before she nods. “Only if you can promise me that this is what you want and you’re not just saying it because you know it’s what I want?”

“I promise. I’ve gone over and over this in my head and then with my therapist, it’s what I want. Maybe not tomorrow but soon.”

A hand slips from his cheek to rest over his chest, as she gulps down the lump in her throat, wishing she could stop crying, although she wishes more that he would stop because it breaks her heart to see him hurting. “I really love you… no matter what you said, I’d still love you. I just needed an answer.”

Chimney takes a breath, his nose nudging against hers as he does and she curls her fingers around the fabric of his top, relieved at her decision to take Rose to her grandparents that night because it wasn’t a scene any four-year-old should walk in on. “I-I think I’m starting to realise that, it’s just… hard sometimes. I love you and I know you love me and after everything, I just want to make you happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Not going to be happy if you’re not.” She mumbles, her grip tightening on his shirt as she speaks, before she leans forward to nuzzle her nose into his neck instead, hiding her face as she does. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“I wouldn’t have said anything if it wasn’t, I promise.”

It’s with a timid nod of her head that she tells him she understands, his arms tightening in their grip around her and she doesn’t want him to let go. Not after spending a few hours imagining the worst case scenarios of where he could possibly be. He’d been honest with her from the beginning, and he was right, it would have been easy for him to turn around and pretend as though his experience four years ago hadn’t been so completely traumatic and just tell her he wanted the exact same things she did. It would have been easy for him to pretend just to please her and maybe she’d have never known the emotional turmoil he was in until it was too late and they had a baby and he was struggling. And maybe that would still happen but at least she wouldn’t be blind sided by it if it did.

It’s when his arms loosen in their grip that she moves to wrap both of hers around his shoulders, pulling him tighter, “Don’t let go yet, was scared, just need another five minutes.” She can feel the wetness of his tears against her neck as he buries his own face in her hair, just taking the moment to breath him in and calm her rapid pulse down as the memories of her imagining him hurt in some car accident or stabbed in some mugging gone wrong incident deplete and she reminds herself that he’s home. And he’s not some tragic case being wheeled into someone’s ER department. He’s home and he’s safe and she can let herself be happy over his words tomorrow because all that matters right then is that he came back and nothing that had been cruelly whirring through her head had actually happened.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's family movie night when Maddie suggests they take their first vacation together as a family.

Maddie giggles as she pulls Rose up onto her lap, watching as Chimney scoffs down his third slice of pizza in as many minutes. “Anyone would think we don’t feed you.” She points out, wrapping her arms a little tighter around the four-year-old as she kisses the back of her head, “I lived with Buck and I still don’t think I’ve seen anyone eat as much as you when you’re off work.”

It’s only with a shrug of his one good shoulder that he leans forward to grab his fourth slice, causing Rose to shake her head with a laugh, “Daddy’s greedy!”

“Hey, I’m injured! Be nice!” It’s with a pout that Maddie finds her eyes flicking to the sling over his shoulder and then at the still healing cut and forming bruise on his forehead. She’d gotten through her third LA earthquake a few days before but it was the first one where she hadn’t been able to rush straight to work. Her first instinct was to drive a little too fast towards the school where she had been met with a building that thankfully was still standing and a little girl who seemed genuinely unphased by the day’s events and more worried they were painting with glitter at the time.

The last person she’d expected to see walk through the doors of her ER a few hours later had been her boyfriend with a dislocated shoulder and a minor head injury. The only bright side had been the fact they’d spent the last two days completely together whilst she nursed him back to health – or rather, she had spent two days baking far too many chocolatey treats whilst Rose told them she wanted to be a nurse when she was all grown up and daddy was just good practice. Apparently painting his fingernails and toenails were all part of the thing’s nurses do which was news to Maddie but her boyfriend did look cute with his pink sparkly nails so who was she to burst her bubble?

It had been a few weeks since their conversation over their future and things had been easier since, she still felt as though her own biological clock was ticking but it didn’t feel quite as imminent anymore. The weight was no longer crushing her chest and she felt as though she could breathe, and Chimney’s load seemed lighter too. They were happy again and that was really all she could ask for. She wiggles her feet on his lap as Rose rests her head on her chest and sprawls herself on top of her, “You know you could use your one good hand to massage my feet instead of eating pizza.”

Chimney smirks at her, raising a brow before he shakes his head, “I thought I was meant to be the patient here, shouldn’t you be massaging _my_ feet?” Yet, the second he’s made his fourth slice of pizza disappear, his hand is on her foot anyway, “At least I get to choose the movie tonight.”

Both Rose and Maddie scoff at the same time, as she waves the remote control at him, “Ro-Ro and I had a little word about that when you were getting changed and _we_ decided that we’re not going to watch another Transformer’s movie tonight or maybe not ever again.”

“Watching Princess Diaries, daddy!” Her hand runs up and down the little girls long, dark hair and for just a moment, she lets her mind wander to what it would be like to have another little girl or boy with Chimney’s gorgeous brown eyes and Rose’s dimples, nudging her nose into the top of her head.

“Two against one, it’s not fair.” Her eyes meet Chimney’s for a second and she can’t help but wonder if he’s thinking the same thing she is, that maybe one day, it won’t be two against one. Maybe I’ll be three against one. Maddie grins at him when he smiles at her and she wants to lean forward to press her lips to his but Rose is making a grab for the remote in a moment of impatience and she can’t quite sit up with her lying on her chest, so she winks at him instead and enjoys the way his cheeks flush a little as he shakes his head.

It’s with a shrug of her shoulders that she turns the movie of Rose’s choice on, her eyes flicking to the TV for just a second before they’re back on her boyfriend, filled with overwhelming relief that he’d just taken a little fall down a few steps. His job was dangerous and despite her brother and him filling her head with the statistics, she could still feel the overwhelming panic with each disaster or big fire she’d see on the news. She was lucky that he’d gotten lucky and that she had gotten to spend the last few days fussing over him in the way he deserved, although both of them were sure he’d have gained about five pounds by the time he gets back to work if she keeps baking him brownies.

Chimney’s hand gently presses against her foot and she’s pulled from her thoughts before she raises a brow, “Do you have some leave you can use? When you’re all healed?” He’s curious as he nods his head, so she continues, “It’s your birthday next weekend, we’ve never been away together, the three of us—maybe we could…” That at least seems to have pulled Rose from watching Anne Hathaway on the screen as she lifts herself up and looks between the two adults, the excitement already clear on her face.

“That sounds like an amazing idea, I’ll speak to Bobby in the morning.”

It’s with an excited laugh that she has Rose bouncing up and down on her stomach and she wraps both her arms tightly around her to bring her back down to her chest, mostly in an attempt to calm her down but also so she has a better view of her boyfriend, so she can see that smile on his face that still makes her heart feel as though it’s going to burst from her chest at any given second.

“Birthday weekend away with my girls, can’t wait.”

“Me neither.”


End file.
